I live in a small town in Ontario, Canada. -17 years old.
I'm not "popular".
I don't have a lot of friends.
& I'm a very negative person.
I'm just trying to be happy with my life.
Oh hai.
Starting a new blog. Not telling anyone the link this time :).
I’ll still use this one thoughhhh. <3
Audio post - Played 8 times
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]My boyfriend sent me this song the first day we started dating <3.
Where the hell does all of the money go..?
My parents are going to see a financial planner this week.
They are definitely flipping out about not being able to afford everything we need.
Honestly, they have good jobs.. WHERE IS THE MONEY GOING!?
Nothing seems to be going to me?
We have a small house already paid for.
Both of their cars are almost as old as me!
The cars both keep on breaking down.
& of course there’s been no money set aside for my schooling.
They make at least $100 000 combined yearly.
WTF.
It’s not like we go on vacations or buy things a lot even?
They practically never buy new clothes, furniture, electronics..
This just confuses the hell out of me.
Maybe they’re setting a lot aside for retirement?
Or my wedding?[LOL never -_-]
On another note, my boyfriend’s birthday is on Sunday. We’re going to point pelee for the day. I’m going to make him a cake.. or a cupcake :).
His present isn’t anything expensive. He just wanted a sentimental gift. So I got him an assortment of chocolate from a place @ Devonshire mall, some random cute tokens from green earth like ‘a token for a hug’, ‘one birthday wish’. I was shopping with one of my best friends so we of course went to chapters and looked at some random books & I decided to get him the pocketbook version of ‘dating for dummies’ because he’s always jokingly saying he needs a manual. As a joke I also got him ‘Sex for dummies’.. just because it was hilarious to read & I’m sure he’ll find it amusing. Or offensive. Hahaha. :)
& to top it all off I got him an electronic keychain that scrolls through pictures. I uploaded some of me and some of his friends already & I’ll be sure to steal it back from him & add more when I have pictures of us together.
Is that really cheesey? :$
He said he didn’t want me to spend much & that he wanted something sentimental & would remind him of me.
He.Is.Adorable.
Alright, whatever.
He’s still in his ‘training phase’. :)
Anyways, I work in an hour.
I need a new job.
I really want to work in a clothing store.
I’m seriously NOT enjoying working in this stupid Italian restaurant.
I LOVE some of the people I work with.. I HATE others though. -_-
I guess that’s life?
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Ugh, I’m going to bed in a terrible mood.
Which means I will wake up in an even worse mood.
I’ve been crying for an hour now & I don’t think I’ll stop anytime soon.
I can’t even be bothered to wash my makeup off.
I don’t think I’ve gone a day without washing my face at night for at least 3 years.
I don’t even care if I break out right now.
I have no one to try to impress.
& I’m not speaking to my boyfriend for a while now.
I cannot believe how angry I am with him.
FUCK GUYS.
@*^$#(%$Q*&#_(Q*$^#Q*&^@*^Q%#$^%Q#*$&^
Wow. Today was actually going really well.
Until my boyfriend decided to be an asshole.
Kgreat.
Is it healthy to have your ex on facebook?
I can’t decide if I should delete him or keep him…. Hmmm?
Lately I’ve been waking up kind of confused.
Like, when.. You don’t know what’s real & what’s a dream.
I feel like the past few months haven’t been real & at any moment I’ll wake up.
-_-
Wtf.
Ugh. I hate birthdays.
I can never decide what to get anyone.. Well.. Boys to be specific.
Girls, easy. A nice necklace or something sappy & they’re all good.
GUYS on the other hand, WTF.
My boyfriend’s birthday is in less than 2 weeks.
I have NO idea what to get him.
Money is not an issue.
Nothing insanely expensive or dirt cheap though.
Ugh. I’m stumped.
This is a little about him:
-Indian[& proud of it. Hahaa]
-Loves to work out
-He plays hockey.. Not that into it.
-Used to box.
-Sentimental.
-Cocky beyond belief. [haha]
Any ideas for what I should get him?
I’m toooooo busy lately..
I got a gym membership over a week ago & I still haven’t even been once… :$
Oh well.
My bedroom is almost clean though :D.
I cannot wait until I get paid this week… I totally thought I was supposed to get paid last Friday so I spent practically everything. Although, I must say… Since I rarely go out to eat or pay for myself for anything anymore it has been a heck of a lot easier to save up.. For uni? Pffffffft. Clothes & necklaces :$. I have a serious addiction.. It’s bad. :(
Alright. So. I’m going to keep doing blogs I guess..
First off, I do think the first person you ever love will always have a special place in your heart. Second off, you never end up with your first true love.
The guy I’m dating right now is… Different. Yeah, I do realize I might’ve jumped into it a bit. I only waited 2 weeks after I broke up with my ex. I don’t know why I did it… I obviously hadn’t moved on at that point. I guess I was just excited for something new.
Right now, yeah.. In a way I regret it but in a way I really don’t.
To everyone else, I will admit.. He does give off the persona of not being the brightest at times.. & yeah, he did have a bit of a whore’ish past.. I was willing to give it a shot. My friends all jokingly told me that I could be the one to change him. I honestly laughed at the thought of him being in a serious relationship.
To me, now.. I realize, he’s not the boy I thought he was. He’s never been in a relationship that lasted over a couple of weeks. He never really had any emotional attachment to the people he has previously slept with.
He may not of saved himself for marriage in a way people did in the past.. But he believes in saving love for the woman he is going to marry. We’ve already had this discussion, I find it intriguing. He really is a softy, and no. He is not just playing that up to get in my pants.
We drive around for hours, lay by the river, watch the sun set, etc. All while talking and still getting to know eachother. He has not met my parents yet. He will soon though, my Mother is dying to meet him. I, on the other hand, will not be able to meet his parents for.. Over a year at least.. He has offered to introduce me since he feels the trouble it would cause between him & his parents is worth it but.. In the Indian culture they only love once. If I was introduced to his parents now, in a way that would kind of mean he thinks I’m fit to be his wife. Awkward.. Yeah, I know. -_- So, I’m willing to wait.. A very long time.
He’s such a softy, he doesn’t feel comfortable letting me pay.. for anything.. Which I find kind of weird & I obviously argue with him about it.. A lot. In the end, I think it makes him feel manly? Whatever. Haha. He’s willing to listen to the kind of music I like on the radio and I swear he’s even starting to like it. It’s not at all like the trash he listens to, but whatever.. I think he’s “broadening his horizons”. ;p
He brings me roses from his garden a lot too, they’re so pretty. I’ve kept them all. I’m thinking about flattening them & putting them into a frame or something. I think it’d be pretty :).
People may think he’s using me for sex.. I honestly thought that at first too. :$ & not to mention he told my ex that he was going to do that.. Which yes, I did give him hell for that but I think he was just trying to play with his mind. Which was terrible because I know he was going through a lot at that point too… I handled everything horribley -_-. Anyways, he definitely is not using me for sex. He’s okay with just hanging out and talking. I like that.
Boys are like dogs though, they do need to be trained.. He doesn’t need much of it.. But there are some things I need to put an end to.. He doesn’t like the fact that I wear makeup. He’s going to just have to deal with it. :)
& to my ex that I know is reading this, I’ll keep blogging.. I won’t go into any physical details of what happens between me and any guy because I know if it were the other way around.. I’d feel REALLY uncomfortable. I don’t mind you wanting to keep up to date with my life.. Just, don’t show anyone my tumblr. This is my ‘outlet’ and I just.. need somewhere to clear my head. You were basically a of a quarter of my life. I guess, in a way, you can stay in it through this. If you’d like to? I don’t know. Just.. Don’t text or call me.. I don’t feel right about it & it hurt my boyfriend A LOT when he saw a text from you.. Please, do not take that as an invite to totally destroy my relationship. I know you’re better than that though.. Hopefully.
[I’m not mentioning names.. Because.. Obviously some of my friends are trying to find my blog and saying names in this makes it easier for them to search for it on Tumblr]
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